Boundaries: It's your responsibility to say "No"

I have a tattoo on my left forearm that says “I belong deeply to myself”.

I’ve had people read it and tell me “wow, quite the statement”. And they’re right in a sense.

I wanted this tattooed on me as a daily reminder, that I don’t ever need to put myself in a position ever again that I don’t want to be in.

That my body is a sacred place and allowing someone in is to be honored and respected. That I am allowed to say no to men and things I don’t want. Because I know what I feels like to be treated like an object, to be scared to say no and to feel like you need to please a guy.

Well I’m telling you now after two years of practicing that, (btw it is still very hard for me) you belong deeply to yourself, and it’s actually your responsibility to honor your body, to love yourself and treat yourself as you always wished to be treated. You deserve the very best and you are allowed to say no. The moment we take ownership of ourselves and are able to walk tall and proud, no one will dare to violate your "No".

For the longest time I would be the girl saying "yes", when really I meant "no". I grew up thinking I had to be what others wanted me to or needed me to be, that I need to put everyone else first and be as invisible as possible. I never learnt how to say no, not to mention that this was my right all along.

I had to find out through a series of painful experiences how people can use me, violate my boundaries and worst of all that I was the one allowing it. I didn’t know how.

And not too long ago much more than just my verbal no got violated. I’ve been in therapy, I’ve been doing somatic experience to uncover my childhood survival patterns. And since understanding the why and how for my habits I have the awareness now to realize in the moment when I actually want to say no.

And so I’ve started allowing myself time before answering, to really check in with my body if I actually want to commit or decline. And since doing that I feel so much more at peace, because I realized the only person I need to say yes to is myself and that often means saying no to others.

It still is difficult, but this is a practice, and with practice comes falling back into the old, but I am moving forward and that’s what matters.

I wish you to find your way and move forward as well.

From Larissa with love,

#lifelessons #setboundaries #loveyourself